Performing to Parenthood: Dave Barnes Unplugged

Steve Campbell: 00:00:02

Welcome to the One Big Thing podcast where inspiration beats transformation.

Dave Barnes: 00:00:12

And so I think, you know, trying to be honest, trying to not over romanticize yourself is. Is tricky because you.

There's an honesty that's encouraging to listen to and is empowering and is vulnerable and draws people in, but there's also an honesty where people are like, oh, man, what a schmuck. I think artistry is. You're trying to be honest, but you also know that there's a certain honesty that works and then there's.

There's one that kind of doesn't. The funny thing is, is, like, my wife, I mean, it's hysterical. It's one of the reasons I love her so much. But, I mean, she loves what I do.

She thinks it's great, but she kind of. She's. She's just not super interested in all the love songs. And you would think that, like someone that's written as many as I have.

And your point where people have used them in their weddings and stuff, I think people can think like, oh, my God. I mean, is she just. Does she just love all these. And she's. She likes him. I'm not at all thrown under the bus.

I mean, she's very encourag and definitely my biggest supporter, but it's a job. And I think for her it's kind of like, yeah, it's great. Now, could you. Could you go outside and cook the salmon? We just need it.

We're kind of waiting on you. I'm like, yeah. But then the chorus goes like. It's like.

But still, we're all hungry, so if we could just kind of wrap this up and get it, you know, and so I think there's a point where it is a job too.

And I think that's where you have to kind of weigh these things with their appropriate weight and how they factor into your life and how much time you give them and how important they really are.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:25

Oh, we're just gonna start with a laugh. Welcome back to the One Big Thing podcast. I'm your host, Steve Campbell. This is gonna be a. This is gonna be a great one.

Dave Barnes: 00:01:32

Today.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:32

I got real hot mics. I got.

Dave Barnes: 00:01:34

Now it's pressure. Yeah. Like, I gotta really deliver.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:37

I got Dave Barnes, who has been oddly, weirdly, intimately connected to my life as he was part of our wedding song. And I actually sang one of his songs to my wife at her wedding.

Dave Barnes: 00:01:46

The.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:46

The audio equipment wasn't that great, so it was like, you kind of heard a little bit, but you could see my face.

Dave Barnes: 00:01:51

Sounded like Aaron Neville.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:54

Is he still alive? Well, we. We lie.

Dave Barnes: 00:01:57

What a great.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:59

What a great musician. The One Big Thing, this interview style show.

So I reached out to Dave on a number of occasions and he's gracious enough to finally come on and you know, preparing for a show, you do your own research. And I thought I could do the standard. Dave Barnes, tell me your One Big thing and we can spend 30 minutes unpacking it.

But I also just thought let's just have a lot of fun and have a conversation today. Yeah, so. So Dave is a singer, songwriter, he has produced multiple albums. I've seen him multiple times in concert.

But he also host the Dadville podcast with his good co host John, where they talk about life and parenting and being a dad and what it's all about. So he's got a little bit of music, a little bit of stand up.

Dave, is there anything I've butchered here at the beginning that people really need to know about you?

Dave Barnes: 00:02:37

No. This is. You're killing it.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:39

Okay, well, as I told you, I prepared for this is it by Kenny Loggins. And so I was doing my own Michael McDonald and you did yours.

And he told me right before we came on, which I don't really know how you keep a straight face after you learn this, but he had dinner with Michael McDonald. So yeah, a big deal for me. It's like I had dinner with Michael McDonald by talking to you.

Dave Barnes: 00:02:59

Yeah, yeah, you have. You were there in spirit. But those cheese sticks, oh gosh.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:04

Are you a big cheese stick guy?

Dave Barnes: 00:03:06

No, I can get weird with some cheese sticks. I have to let my kids order them, though. Like, if I order them, I feel like a lot of shame. But if the kids order them, then I have one or two.

Like, I didn't order them.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:16

Well, that's, that's part of like being a dad and a parent is like getting to live off your kids plates.

Dave Barnes: 00:03:21

Which, yeah, they're sort of the. They're sort of like the refrigerator period of my Walter Payton where I get to sort link behind them. They open the. And then I cut right through.

You know what I mean?

Steve Campbell: 00:03:30

Yeah. And if you're not careful as a dad, you can end up looking like Brendan Frazier from the way because you've.

Dave Barnes: 00:03:35

Just got a little too far. One of the first things that my, that my like, doc told me when we had been my oldest was, he was like, look, man, a couple thoughts.

You didn't ask for these, but a couple thoughts, you're going to want to eat. You're Gonna wanna finish your kids plates. Cause one, if the food is good, obviously.

But two, there's some weird like maternal thing or I'm sorry, paternal thing. Maybe maternal too. Actually, let's do both.

You choose, you know where you're just like, it's just one more chicken nugget or it's like just a couple more chick fil a fries and you'll eat them. And he's like, don't do it. That is how you put the weight on. If you see dads, you're like, how has he gained so much weight?

He's like, I'm telling you, I'm a doctor. That is how you do it. And I was. And so now it just got like burned into my brain. And so now when we're.

And it's not that I don't do it, but I'm at least conscious of it, which makes me feel like halfway there, you know, you're aware.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:30

So. So let me tell you a quick story. My wife told me that I need to be more aware one time in our marriage.

And I said, steph, that's great, but I'm going to raise you one. I'm going to be aware that I need to be more aware because I'm just not aware.

So there's a moment where I'm like walking through the house and I'm like, I feel like should. Should I see something? And it's like, that's level one for me. Not even like the thing that's dead in the center of the room, but it's just a.

It's just a conscious. I need to be aware that I need to be aware of something.

Dave Barnes: 00:05:01

I don't know if I carry more. Shame is actually not the right word in this context, but like, I just carry this weight of knowing.

Like, I will watch Annie, my wife, mother, and parent, and navigate being a parent. And she is doing so many things. She's thinking about so many things. She is playing 4D chess with our life at all times. It is she.

Did he get the coat draw? And then he's got the practice. We got to make sure the shoes are the. And then, oh, what Christmas and what should be praying for the kids.

And I am thinking about me the entire time. And I noticed one time it was really embarrassing.

My buddy and I, who's a dear friend of mine, he was talking about he and his wife kind of having their like yearly sort of like big sit down download. It's like. And he said something that was so. He didn't even know That I don't even know that he knows that it hit me this hard.

But he was like, you know, we were sitting down and just kind of like, talking. Like, she asked me how I was doing. I was talking about the kids, and I was like, I think every time any has ever asked me no.

What he was thinking about, his wife was like, what have you been thinking about? And he's like, yeah, I was thinking about my oldest and how he's doing. And I'm like, I think anytime any is ever what I'm thinking, it's always me.

Like, I'm always like, well, I was just thinking, like, I wonder if that song is really gonna. Should I add guitars or that show next week. I mean, And I was so. I was so embarrassed that, like, so little of my life.

I'm like, you know, I was thinking about, you know, Sam, our youngest, and just like, how's he doing? Is he. She is doing all of that. I am just so lost in Dave world. It's really to your point about being aware. I'm just like.

It is something I know so acutely about myself but is so hard to change. It's like. And I. And I. She has taught me.

If Annie has taught me anything, she's taught me selflessness and other centeredness, but I'm just so bad at it. I'm just unbelievably bad at it. So when she calls.

Steve Campbell: 00:06:59

When she calls, your name is like the cry for help, but also the question. Like, Dave, when you're sitting there, you just yell seven. Because you don't, you know, that's what I do.

Dave Barnes: 00:07:10

And then it gets where you are.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:11

In the conversation, and you just, like, first thought, so. So that's super helpful, Dave. Obviously, I've kind of followed your journey.

Why don't you tell people, though, that may not know you, if that's possible. How many kids do you have? We know your wife's name is Annie, but how many kids?

Dave Barnes: 00:07:23

We got three kids. We got seventh grade, fourth grade, second grade. Okay.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:28

You said your oldest name is Ben.

Dave Barnes: 00:07:30

Ben, yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:07:31

Okay, so I got to give a shout out to my dear friend Ben Thomas, who actually introduced me to. Until you 14 years ago, maybe the EP version. And I was like, you got to listen to this guy. And I got together with him a couple weeks ago.

n this comes out, it'll be in: 2025

But we had gotten together for Thanksgiving, and we live four hours apart, so we meet every Thanksgiving at a jump park for our K kids and two hours in between us. Yep, you were there. And we get together.

Dave Barnes: 00:08:04

Amazing.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:04

I love this because when I lived in upstate New York, we were 12 hours away. And so we spent, I don't know, three months together for Christian leadership training. We were both college athletes.

And so they got us all together in a frat house. The men were upstairs, the women were on the bottom and thank you, Jesus.

And we got together for three months to learn about the Lord, but to also just grow in discipleship. And him and I like, you ever just meet somebody and you're like, we're best. We weren't roommate, but it's like we're best friends.

We both got jobs at McDonald's because we thought, we're never going to work at McDonald's a day in our life. I was the drive thru guy, he was the ice cream guy. And the stories, those are power.

Dave Barnes: 00:08:41

Those are power positions.

Steve Campbell: 00:08:43

One this on, I have to interject because Ben, I know, is going to listen to this episode and he will laugh because we always laugh about it.

But something happened where I don't know if it's just we were so mature as McDonald's employees that the managers would just like leave, like everyone would leave the store. We actually got two people that went to college and know what they're doing. So somebody had ordered an ice cream cone.

And it's when you're working at McDonald's and you lower the level, you have to raise the level back up to stop the machine. And McDonald's, which is true of a.

Dave Barnes: 00:09:11

Lot of things in life, by the.

Steve Campbell: 00:09:12

Way, that we miss. McDonald's had an unbelievable playlist every day.

And I want to say Rock with you by Michael Jackson was playing and we just got done making an ice cream cone lever down. And here's like him and I were vibing in the kitchen. We're dancing around, you're feeling, you turn around, the ice cream is spewing out ice cream.

We never lifted the lever and no one is in the restaurant.

And for three minutes it was like the, the Titanic scene where it was just white cream all over the floor and him and I panicking, trying to clean ice cream at McDonald's. And thank you, Jesus. No one walked in the door. No one left. It was just him and I and it was his moment.

So long story short, we get together now every year at Thanksgiving because he's got five kids and I've got four.

And it's just very cool because I remember dreaming with him when we were in Colorado about someday we're going to get married and someday we're going to be best friends and live on the same cul de sac dream hasn't fully, but we meet up, we meet up in Kentucky and we get to get with each other. So when I was with him, he said, hey, reach out to Dave one more time.

And I thought, all right, I'm going to throw a Hail Mary, a DM on Instagram and see if he'll respond. And I saw the bubbles and I said, ben, something's happening. And you got back to me and said, hey, you know, go through my manager and stuff. So.

So Ben Thomas, you partner, are as much of this podcast as my dinner with Michael McDonald. So if the four of us can get together at some point, worlds might collide.

So you got, you got three kids, you got your wife Annie, you got the Dadville podcast, you write a lot of songs. This was a curious question that I had for you. Your lyrics are super, super powerful.

And, you know, you write a lot about your kids and your family and these Christmas albums. But you also said that you're very me centered.

And I wonder if this is something that with content creators, with podcasters, you can be so into what you do in making a great podcast with a Dave Barnes. And then when it's with like the people that you're talking about, you're not, you're not given the same effort or you're just not as present.

But when you, like, talk about them or sing about them, like, you come to life, do you ever, like, struggle or have your own self doubt about yourself that you can write these songs about your kids, but then when they're actually with you, it's not that you don't love your kids or like, you don't cherish the moments, but it's not that you're fake either.

But like, I can come on a podcast and talk about how wonderful my children are, and then they bust through the door after school and I'm like, oh gosh, like, give me a break.

Like, is there ever that tension of when you're a singer, songwriter, recording the podcast, like, what has been the most revealing thing to you about balancing, like, recording songs, recording podcasts, and then just like actually being a dad and a husband?

Dave Barnes: 00:11:56

Yeah, it's, it's easy to paint a picture of yourself that's very one dimensional or, or just represents one part of one aspect or angle of the, of the, you know, of the whole thing. And so I think, you know, trying to be honest, trying to not over romanticize yourself. Is. Is tricky because you, you know, you.

There's an honesty that's encouraging to listen to and is empowering and is vulnerable and draws people in, but there's also an honesty where people are like, oh man, what a schmuck. You know what I mean?

So I think, you know, that's what's hard about, I think artistry is you're trying to be honest, but you also know that, you know, there's a certain honesty that works and then there's. There's one that kind of doesn't. And so. And you know, the funny thing is, is like my wife, I mean, it's hysterical.

It's one of the reasons I love her so much. But I mean, she loves what I do. She thinks it's great, but she kind of.

Steve Campbell: 00:12:52

She's.

Dave Barnes: 00:12:52

She's just not super interested in all the love songs.

And you would think that, like, you know, someone that's written as many as I have and, you know, your point where, you know, people have used them in their weddings and stuff, I think people can think like, oh, my God. I mean, is she just.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:06

Does she just melt? Does she melt?

Dave Barnes: 00:13:08

And she's. And she likes him. I'm not at all thrown under the bus. I mean, she's very encouraging and definitely my biggest supporter. But, you know, it's a job.

And I think for her it's kind of like, yeah, it's great. Now, could you just. Could you go outside and cook the salmon? We just need to. We're kind of waiting on you. I'm like, yeah.

But then the chorus goes like. She's like, oh, it's all of it.

But still we're all hungry, so if we could just kind of wrap this up and get, you know, and so I think there's a point where it is a job too.

And I think that's where you have to kind of, you know, weigh these things with their appropriate weight and how they factor into your life and how much time you give them and how important they really are, you know, And I think that's where it gets kind of tricky is because, you know, it can be a little, well, a lot over romanticized when, you know, it's.

It's also work, you know, it's kind of like at some point it's a song you've sung 2,000 times and you love it, but, you know, you're kind of like, yeah, it's like a thing.

It's another thing that I sort of sell and put out there in the world and people like it, and I'm glad to do it, but it's also just kind of a thing, you know?

Steve Campbell: 00:14:06

So Stephen Day, who. Dude, I freaking love. And I had him on the show and it, like, surreal for me, like, even having you on and Stephen Ste. And Stephen Day on.

On camera with me. And, like, he had talked about something. I wonder if this has been your experience. He's like, when you are. Oh, hat mode.

If you guys want, you can watch this video on YouTube. I'll share a link. But Dave just put a hat on. And he just. Now this is like R B Dave.

Dave Barnes: 00:14:29

Wow. This is R and B Dave.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:32

That's you, Mr. Call. But Steve was like, Steven, sorry, wrote.

Dave Barnes: 00:14:37

He.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:38

He said the one thing about when you write songs is when you write them, they're yours and nobody knows about them. And then you release them into the world and, like, they do really well, but it, like, loses the magic of when you were writing it. Nobody knew.

And should you add more keys or should you add some synth, which. Phil Collins. Thank you for bridging the gap for all of us. But. But I wonder if, like, that's for you.

And I was thinking about leading up to this show, I'm getting ready to see you again in concert, and you're going to sing songs that you've sung in other places. And it is work. Does. Does it ever lose its luster in the sense of, like, do you have to work yourself up to go do a concert? Or is it still.

Every time you're getting ready to walk out on stage, you're just like, this is my life. I'm going to go crush it?

Or like, is it the same feelings that people that have nine to fives have where it's like, I got to show up at the office, like, all these years into it, is there just maybe feelings that now you're having that you just never thought when you first started post college, like, that you're having today?

Dave Barnes: 00:15:36

Yeah, that's a really great question. I think, like, there's a lot of this that. Well, you know what? There's nothing new under the sun, first of all.

And so I think I would be doing the human existence a disservice by trying to make some specific struggle to what I do, because there's nothing. Everybody struggles with these things. But I do think, you know, you know, once you've done this enough, it's like, it does get a little jobby.

You know, like, shows can get, you know, you just sort of go, yeah, it's another Night, another show. But I will say this, and this sounds like I'm potentially backtracking and. Or, like, judging the answer a bit.

But it feels like about the first or second song, it's like, oh, man, this is fun. Like, these people are here. You kind of hear the first applause or people yelling curse words at you, whatever your show is like.

And then it's like something gets activated. You know, it's kind of like, oh, man, we're up here. It's like, I said this a couple times in my last few shows, and it's true.

I kind of have these moments where I'll sort of get lost in the show.

Like, you know, you're playing, and I'm listening to what my band is doing, or my buddy Destiny plays piano with me, and I'll kind of look up and go, like, oh, man, there's, like, people here, you know, which is great. That's like, you want to be at that place, because the place you don't want to be is like, did we eat already? God.

Oh, that Thai place is down the street, like, in the middle of a song, you know, you're like. But you're like, man, I'm still a little hungry. I wonder if we'll have time to get something.

You know, like, that's not where you want to be, is where you're kind of, like, doing your job as opposed to really being in the moment and performing and doing these things. But I think, thankfully, it's really rare that where it's like a show where I'm kind of like, man, I just sort of. I just wasn't there.

I was just kind of doing. I was doing my thing and moving on.

I think one thing that helps with that with me is, I think, because my banter, like, when I talk, I'm trying to sort of go a little bit with what the room is giving me. And so it sort of always pulls me back into the now, where I think if I was. I'm always amazed.

And I think it's probably why I never toured more or really hit the road, like, really, really hard, like a lot of my friends did. I just can't do the monotony thing. Like, I'm not good at, like. I heard a great. I'm a big Arsenal fan.

It's a soccer football team, if you will, in London, and there's a guy named Dennis Burgkamp who's, like, a legend there, and he's. He's from the Netherlands, but they were talking about his practicing, and he's He's. You know, he's got a statue outside the stadium.

He's like, that guy, you know, he's like one of the greats. And they were just about him practicing, and they're like, you know, he would go do the same shot 75 times after practice is done.

Everybody's in there, showered and driving home, and he's still in the field, just trying to get the curl right on this direct kick or indirect, whatever. And it's like that. I don't have that. That's not built into my thing. And so I think for me, I'm kind of like, I love spontaneity.

I love kind of like, where's this gonna go? The minute something gets too monotonous, I immediately disengage.

And so I think one of the things about, like, my friends who do it a lot, it's like, I remember talking to my friends where he's like, his whole show is on a metronome, which means, like, even when he's talking, there's a click in his ear for the tempo of the next song, and he knows that I've got 20 clicks before the song starts. So I gotta say just enough, and I know what I'm gonna say, and it's well rehearsed, and that's amazing.

And a lot of big tours do that because you're on the grid. Like. Yeah, you gotta do it the bit. You got 10 people behind you, they're looking at you going, like, we need to know exactly when the downbeat is.

So you can't just kind of riff, you know, you can't kind of go, like, and then turn around and go, go. Because if you do that every song, the set starts to get a little. Everybody's just kind of sitting there waiting. Yeah. Clunky.

But I think for me, that's what I like the most, is just sort of this feeling of like, where's this gonna go if somebody laughs weird? Oh, my gosh. Okay. Make a joke. And now we're off, and we're having fun, and we're talking, and then here's a song.

And so I think for me, it sort of keeps me in the moment. It keeps it from feeling like a job.

It keeps it feeling like every night is its own experience that has a unique flavor and who knows where the night can go? And so it helps it feeling not quite as jobby. You know, it's like, no, remember Knoxville? Last time? That guy.

And then we did the thing I tripped walking out and. Oh, my gosh.

That was so fun because then my drummer laughed, and we laughed about that on stage, you know, and it feels like you guys are getting something unique, and I'm getting something unique, and it keeps me really interested that way, you know?

Steve Campbell: 00:19:50

Yeah. So I'll be the guy in the crowd the next time you trip where it's, like, fake.

Dave Barnes: 00:19:54

Fake. That's, you know, it's not fake. You stand up, look at me, you just face the crowd. This is inauthentic.

I've been paying for something that's manufactured.

Steve Campbell: 00:20:04

I've done presentations, you know, and you find lines that deliver the timing, the execution. And I, I.

You know, the one thing that I messaged you about is I don't think even when I started podcasting, I mean, I went to school to be a social studies teacher, and, you know, now I've been in business for 12 years and started podcasting four years ago with my co host, which is one. One, you know, monster in and of itself, having another human being that you have to read each other.

But then I started this show a year and a half ago and have 45 episodes with, you know, people from the NFL, Peloton musicians, and, you know, you have this human. And what one thing you guys talked about on the show is, like, you. I don't think people realize how challenging podcasting is, but that.

How you can also, like, when I hear you say, like, playing a show and thinking about Thai food, you can become so.

I don't say good at something, but so rehearsed that your brain can do simultaneously other things because you're not really in the moment, even podcasting, like, you can turn your mic on and, you know, go through your bit and, like, have a conversation, but there's also this, like, process of, like, really being mindful about one thing you said on your show, which is, like, I've had to learn as a host when to interject because my brain does go a mile a minute. Somebody's talking. It's like, we could talk about that, and we could talk about this, and, like, this will change somebody's life.

And sometimes it's just, like, make content you want to enjoy.

Yeah, but the one thing that I was thinking about that's funny, like, different from the world of sports, you were talking about your, you know, soccer hero you look to and how he did 75 shots after practice. And my brain's stupid.

I'm thinking about, like, what if that was, like, all of us in our real jobs, like, sending 75 drafted emails, like, just practicing, you know, because you, because you didn't do it very well. It's like, hey, Dave, it's too much. Hi Dave, wait. Sup Dave?

Dave Barnes: 00:21:48

One of the best reprimands I've ever gotten that really changed. This is really small but true because I've got this in me is I sent an email early days of my career. Early, early, early days.

And, and you know, like I said, I'm pretty one track minded. I'm pretty like pit bullish when I sort of make a decision, which is sometimes great and sometimes really frustrating.

But there was a girlfriend of mine who went to a school and they wanted to have me come play. And so she had reached out and she's like, hey, like, you know, let me know what it costs. We'd love to have you do this thing.

And so, but she asked like, then she had a second paragraph that was like, hey, and how's this going and how's your family and whatever, whatever, whatever, you know, because we were friends sense. So then I email her back and I just said like, you know, whatever. Sounds great, would love to play. This is kind of what I'm thinking.

What dates are you thinking? And she emailed back and was like, thanks so much for asking. I'm great too. Here's what's going on.

And I was like, oh my God, I'm such an idiot because I mean I just gotten straight.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:45

Seems high maintenance.

Dave Barnes: 00:22:46

Yeah, she did. Yeah, we didn't, there's healing. We didn't really continue a friendship after that.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:51

That's on her.

Dave Barnes: 00:22:51

Yeah, that's on her. But it was funny because, you know, I had to learn like, oh yeah, like, like there's bedside manner to things.

There's like, you know, there's a way to. So I could have used probably 50 drafts in my emails early even now I have to like, I'll sort of get my point out.

And I'm like, all right, now back up. Let's, let's be empathetic and be a human now where it's not just like.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:12

Now we have, now we have AI for that.

Dave Barnes: 00:23:14

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:15

Hey, I'm, I'm really bad computer at writing as a human being, so could you add as many emojis empathy throughout this email that was like Dave, look forward to recording. And now it's actually a 10, 000.

Dave Barnes: 00:23:27

Word email over expressing excited about your musical offerings. And then we get to recount the, you know. Yeah, I, I, that's, I think that.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:36

That raises a great let's talk about it. How do you recognize authenticity today? And I think whether you're a musician, you know, you.

In your world, you have fans that come to see you, and maybe they wait outside or they want to see you. So there's the balancing act between, like, I' privileged to be able to be a musician and play a show.

And, like, to me, in this moment, I'm the world to this people. So how much of myself do I give away versus, like, I'm also tired.

But then, just like, in your world, doing podcasting and interviewing people from, you know, I saw Chris Kirkpatrick on there. I saw Shane and Shane. I saw a lot of people that I was like, man, I love these people. You.

You also, through podcasting, get very real with people when you interview them. And what has shocked me the most is how, like, you said your second song in a set.

It's usually about 15 minutes into a podcast where my face gets a little less red. I start to settle in, and I'm like, all right, I kind of belong here in this conversation.

And then there's a sweetness to it where I'm like, man, Dave Barnes is a human being, just like me. And I realized, like, I had appreciated him. I looked up to him as an Arsenal fan or in basketball or in football.

And then we get into it, and it's like, man, this guy's got insecurities or this girl's got insecurities, just like I do, and, like, struggles. And it's like, more so for me, like, all right, Lord, how do I.

How do I bring to everyday people real conversations with people we all look up to that are struggling as dads and as moms?

And I think the problem is, like, recognizing what's real today with social media and AI creation and videos, where it's like, 15 years ago, if you saw a reel, you'd be like, man, that person spent three hours on lighting and on words. And now it's like, no. They actually today just put into AI software and said, make this video.

And it's gotten, like, even in my world, man, I have people that reach out to me from Pakistan and Siberia that are like, Mr. Steve, I would love to make your podcast famous. For $34 a month, I can promote your show.

And then, like, I've had people on and other guests, and, like, you see things they post, and it's like, 60,000 hearts. And you're like, dude, what's the deal? How did you. All you said was like, turn the page. And, like, all these people liked it.

And it's like, well, I pay for Distribution. I pay for people to like it. And then, like, the comments is even trippier to me that these are.

Are these real people that are like, wow, Dave, this is so good. And it's like, is that a bot? So, like, even just in your world, like, how do you recognize authenticity?

And is there anything that, like, you've learned about how to spot things or just guard yourself from? I don't know what you see every day on your phone or scrolling through social media.

Dave Barnes: 00:26:18

Yeah, you know, I think we. We have to remember that we live a real life as a real human.

And so what we put up or sort of make people believe about ourselves or the success you're actually having is great, whatever the level that is, or how much of it is manufactured or not. But at the end of the day, you know, you have this life you're living. You. You. You potentially have a spouse, you have kids.

And so that's really what people are gonna. That's really what you're dealing in, is the real human existence. Like, how is my relationship with my wife? How is my relationship with my kids?

How's my relationship with my dear friends? How's my relationship with my church? How is my. These things that.

That actually have value, that actually have, like, real, I would argue, kingdom value as opposed to the fake kingdom stuff.

And so I think, you know, keeping a sort of, like, eye on how those things are going, you know, is sort of like, to me, always been paramount as opposed to the stuff that feels great or, you know, a song really connects or a show goes really well, or you sell out a show or whatever, and those things are great. But that's not real stuff. You know, that's not stuff that you.

That you take with you or that you leave behind was probably the better way to say it, you know, and, And. And so, you know, and I think, too, there's a quote. It sort of deals with the question you're asking, but I say a lot. It's one of my favorite quotes.

Whenever we come together sharing our strengths, it breeds competition. But whenever we come together sharing our weaknesses, it breeds community.

And so I think if you're looking for authenticity, it's usually surrounded by people. You. You'll find that people that are authentic tend to have communities around them because that's how authenticity usually works.

And I think the stuff that's not really authentic, you'll sniff it out pretty quickly because there's not people around it, you know, there's. It's either cults of personality, which is not real.

Person, you know, real community or it's people faking it, you know, and I think that stuff tends to get figured out pretty quickly and. Or when it's out of, you know, when it's out of fashion, that tends to go away.

So even if it is sort of working in a way, if it's not real, you know, it tends to. As the, as the, you know, waves of culture shift. So, so goes those people, you know.

Steve Campbell: 00:28:35

Well, how about for you and you and Annie? Because obviously with your life being in the spotlight, I think there's a lot of people.

When I look at the demographics of my listeners, I basically built this podcast to encourage myself.

And I've said that since I started that there was the weight of fatherhood, the weight of, you know, what I do on a day to day being a husband and feeling like my heart is to encourage people. And it's, you know, I'm the person that the Lord puts somebody in my heart and I text him and I'm like, dave, thinking of you today, praying for you.

And I'm usually the one doing that. And like, it's nice when you hear it back, but I know that's the heart the Lord's given me.

And sometimes you just feel the weightiness of all of these roles that you're just like, man, am I even good at any of this stuff? And so I thought, you know what, there's got to be other people that also feel this way.

And so this show was more therapy for me, but to like interview people and talk to them about, you know, their shortcomings and what they're learning. And I think what's interesting is you say like, community and real community.

I think there's so many people that are in their 30s and 40s that desire authentic community but don't always know where to find it. And maybe they have it seasonally or, you know, through their kids, sports or whatever.

But for somebody like you and with Annie, because, because you're a recording artist, people know your face. Is it easier or harder to find community for you? And is there like anything that's helpful helped?

Because when you're also a couple, like, you gotta jive with the other couple.

I don't know if you've ever had an experience where like your wife really connects with the wife and then the husband is like, I hope we don't ever see each other again. Like, but you don't want to say that out loud because it's really appropriate.

But like, I love this idea of finding community and I Think there's people that would raise their hand and say, I would love to have other humans that I could have, like, real life with. Is there anything that's been challenging to you, being in the spotlight or.

Or you and Annie about, like, choosing who you allow access into, you and your family?

Dave Barnes: 00:30:20

You know, it's funny. I. I think. Well, it's probably a few things. One, I think I have always really fought hard against celebrity.

I've never been successful enough to really have to deal with that. And on a mass level, I mean, I have my versions of it, but I just, you know, I think I am so one of it. Some of it is natural.

I think I'm just a really normal guy. Like, I really mean that. Like, I don't. You know, I have some talents and things that are really fun, but I'm. I don't. I don't.

It makes me so uncomfortable when people are uncomfortable around me. And so I usually try to make people feel comfortable. Like, I want. I want to be personable. I don't ever want.

I told somebody, like, the first interview I ever did as a musician that my goal was to try to be the Everyman. I just don't. I've never had any interest. In my darkest hours, I have extreme interest in being really cool and, like, the coolest guy in the room.

But I think in. In, you know, in my sort of waking, normal hours, I'm like, I just really want. I just really want to be personable and kind and easy to talk to.

That's my hope, you know? And so I.

You know, again, I've never had the kind of fame where that's really been a struggle, but I think even in the moments where that does sort of raise its hand, I'm like, I kind of want to be the guy that when people leave, they're like, he was, like, really normal, sort of underwhelmed, you know, like, in a really wonderful way. Not, like, everything he said was so profound. We're like. We laughed the entire time, which maybe those things happen, I don't know.

But I think for me, some of it is natural and that I just really. I love people. I'm extremely extroverted. You know, maybe a good way to say is, I'm gifted with a lot of things that kill fame.

You know, I've been gifted with a lot of things that sort of cure the fame bug, which is, I actually really like people. I actually really love talking to people. I like people feeling comfortable when they're around me. And I think I Know I smell my own. You know what?

Enough to know, like, this is going to be the shortest dig you've ever had on trying to unearth some amazing thing about me. Because you're going to realize in the first two shovel loads, like, oh, this is just like, all the dirt everywhere else.

There's no dinosaur bones here. It's just going to be more what we find in everybody else. And so I think that's some of it.

And then two, I think I really try to live a life that's extremely wide open and available. And, you know. Yeah, it's like.

It's funny to me because, like, every now and then I'll be talking to a dad at our school, and I know all of them really well that'll say, like, dude, my friend sent me a video of yours the other day, and it really made me laugh hard. And I can see in that moment, they're like, oh, yeah, you, like, do this thing? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I do that thing, I guess. And they're like, ah.

And then we talk about something else or whatever. We talk about that, Whatever. But it's fun because I like that. I like that people every now and then go like, hey, like, I know you do music.

And I just want to say it out loud. Like, the show, we went. The show. It was good. I'm like, oh, that's great. Okay. And it's not like, dave, I don't want to bother you.

I know you're with your children. I'm like, you know, that's for my friends, especially in our community. And so, you know, even as we picked our.

The church that we went to back in the day, some of it for me was knowing, like, these people don't have a clue what I do. I had a woman one time. It was one of my favorite interactions my adult life. This sort of elderly woman walked up and.

And I said, so, Dave, what is it? Tell me. I was ushering at the church, you know, and she said, so, Dave, tell me about you. Like, what are you doing? I was like, oh, I do music.

And she's like, oh, my gosh, how's it going? And I was like, it's going pretty well. And she's like, good for you. And I was like, I love that so much.

You know, instead of, you know, being somewhere to church where people like, oh, my God, they're getting quiet and they're sort of looking, and they're like, oh, my God, can I. Can we just get a picture? Which is fine. I love that. But I think, you know, in a church.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:16

Come on. Is that.

Dave Barnes: 00:34:18

Is that.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:18

Is that hard for you, though, balancing? I remember one time my brother got invited to SNL because he had won a skit where he acted as Chris Farley, and I don't know what you're in.

So they invited him out to snl, and he met one of the cast members that he had thought was hysterical until he actually, like, met him, met him and was like, absolutely not. He used. He used a strong word, but he was like, that guy is not good.

And, like, I wonder if that's the idolization that a lot of us have, where you look to people that make you laugh or you watch their videos or you watch them in sports, and it's. It's almost like this weird. Like, if only I could live a day in their shoes or meet them someday or whatever.

And then you can idolize them to the point that when you meet them, you're almost disappointed because they're not making you laugh the entire time.

You know, where they're not carrying this weight, or, like, you're beating your kid as you say hello to them, and you're like, oh, you're a real dad like me. So, like, how do you also balance the expectations of.

You actually do have real fans, which is different than a friend or a dad at the bus stop who's like, are you. Hey, have you ever played a guitar? Like, are you that guy, you know, versus, like, oh, my gosh, you're tattooed on my.

My rib cage, and you're like, okay, wow. Yeah. Like, how is that balancing.

When you do meet somebody who's paid money to come see you and they want you to come to their wedding or do whatever, Like. Like, how. How do you stay real as Dave, but then also bridge that gap to, hey, I appreciate you, but, like, gotta stop right here.

Like, this is going too far. Like, is that. Has that ever been. Has that ever been an issue for you?

Dave Barnes: 00:35:53

I mean, not. You know, it's what everybody says. The only time it ever gets weird, and it never does. I mean, this has happened three times in my. In my life.

I'm not lying. It never happens to me, is when people demand something that's just, like, that's tricky.

You know, when you catch somebody in a moment where they're kind of like, hey, take a picture. Come here. And I'm like, okay, that's the. This is the only time you're gonna feel some energy for me, because it's like, I'm not your lackey.

You know, like, I will take a hundred pictures with you, and we will laugh, and I'm very personable. But the demand thing. And that's what I see with a lot of my celebrity, like, real celebrity friends.

It's like, that is tough when people kind of come in and they're like, hey, come here and do this.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:31

Do it, clown.

Dave Barnes: 00:36:32

Yeah. Or like, hey, sing something. And they start the video, like, wait, hold on. You know Walmart? Yeah, that's right. How'd you get into my house? House?

So I think, like, you know, again, it never happens. I. I tell. And I mean this. I. This sounds insincere, I think, in some ways, but I really mean this. I have the greatest listeners. I just. They.

I don't know how I lucked out with such wonderfully normal people. I just. I never have weird interactions.

Steve Campbell: 00:37:01

Like, it's just like, your manager vets all of them.

Dave Barnes: 00:37:04

It does. He does. And these. Put the other down. But you know what I mean? It's like. It's. It's just. I don't. I don't know if it's just like, calls to, like.

And they see me and they're like, this guy just seems like a really normal guy, and I'm, like, a pretty normal guy, and I like his music, but I just don't. I do not have interactions with people where I ever have to be like, this is weird. Or, like, grab the kids and go, I'll handle this one.

You know, it's like, that just never happens.

Steve Campbell: 00:37:27

So you've never had a show where, like, you finished and walked outside and everyone was goth, and it just, like, really, like, yeah, like, how'd you guys all become.

Dave Barnes: 00:37:34

We need some of your blood. And you're like, that feels a little intense. Hold my wife. Hold my. Kiss my wife. And I'm like, yeah, maybe too much. Yeah, no, it's. It's just not.

You know, I think you have to be sort of a certain level of celebrity for people to really. You know what I think some of it is? This is another thought for you in that space, I think. Extreme talent, giftedness, whatever you want to call it.

I think this applies to LeBron. You know, you could say this about Ed Sheeran, you know, and it's not. I'm not just saying that they. They're like the goats.

I'm just saying anybody that really has been given a really substantial gift, it reminds us of the divine. So when we see it, it transports us. When we hear it, it transports us, and it feels divine. We are out of ourselves, we're.

We feel emotions that aren't everyday emotions, these surge of things. It could be for me, watching some guy play soccer. And every time he. Every touch is perfect in his creativity. And I just feel I'm out of my.

I'm out of myself. I'm having a moment of like slight teleportation to a place, you know.

And so I think what happens with celebrity is we assign them these divine places, giftings, gift sets, like, and so we, we like. And when you feel that way, you want more of it because it's amazing, that feeling.

And so I think what happens is we can kind of approach these people and sort of go like, hey, like, you gotta make us feel this way because you can make us feel that way. And I think like, that's where a lot of problems start.

And I feel for people who have those kind of giftings and gift sets because it's like, you know, it's. That's. That's where your questions are.

Especially point is, is that sort of gift set group of that jet set of people where it's like, when you really are that good at something that people are like, no, you don't have a choice. You have to give us this, you know. But what we really are warning is God in that moment, which sounds crazy, but it's true.

Like, we want that divine feeling that. That out of body, that sort of weird, like, existential moment where it's like, I don't feel the weight of myself.

I'm so transfixed on this thing that feels so unique and singular that that's what I want. And it's like, those are great. That's why we all love these things, why we love music, why we love sports, why we love movies, why we love. Name it.

But it's unfair to go to those people and then say be divine, you know, because they aren't, you know, I mean, we are and that we're eternal, but we're not divine in that way, you know. So I think that's where the breakdown can happen, you know, is where we.

We misappropriate these giftings and, and expect these things from people that are at best just conduits for something, you know, that is not of themselves.

Steve Campbell: 00:40:35

Well, I think it's hard today too, because you think about 20 years ago, we didn't have.

Every time you open up your Instagram, you know, Dave Barnes or LeBron, like doing a selfie, walking around, making a video, and it's like you feel super connected to people, but you realize, like, you're not that close to them, but it feels that way. And when you work with people that love content development, they're like, find. Find ways to become really real to people. Post pictures of your kids.

Do a selfie at Kroger. Like, walk around. Also have the. The curated stuff. And so maybe there's also just this feeling of, you know, as fans or of sports or of music.

People feeling like, man, I feel like I know Dave.

Dave Barnes: 00:41:13

That's it.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:14

That's a lot of it. I feel like if we. If we met Starbucks or. It's like, I taught. It's like, I told Ben, Ben's like, dude, what are you gonna do when you talk to Dave?

I was like, well, here's the reality, Ben. We're gonna become best friends, and he's gonna ask me to come hang out.

Dave Barnes: 00:41:25

We'Re gonna meet up with the Joker.

Steve Campbell: 00:41:26

We'Re gonna record an album, and it's gonna be just life, full circle. That's. That's how God works. Works, bud.

Dave Barnes: 00:41:32

Which, you know, it really is.

It's a compliment because I think, like, one of my dear friends, years ago, when I started playing music, he's an extremely gifted singer, songwriter, and he was telling me, I wrote it down, and I still remember this quote. He said, my favorite bands are the ones that after you watch them play, you want to go get dinner with them. And it sounds really so.

Well, of course you do. They're famous. And it's like, no, I think it means that you just are like, I just want to, like, hang around.

It just feels like we would be friends, you know, I think that's the compelling energy behind those. Those sentiments.

And so it's like, for me, that's the best I can do is just hope that people, you know, hear me and enjoy me in a way that they go, God, just be fun to go get, like, lunch with him and. And chit chat, you know? I listen to this podcast called the Rest is History, and it's so geeky. But I.

I literally was listening to one this morning, and I was like, I would just. I. I like these guys. I just like them.

Steve Campbell: 00:42:24

Them.

Dave Barnes: 00:42:25

I just think they're fun, they're really knowledgeable, but they're just really great at what they do. And I'm like, I just love to go get dinner with these guys. I don't even know what we talk about. But, I mean, that's that thing.

That's the thing, right? It's that thing where you, you know, I think there's. Because of social media. There's a hundred million of those now where, you know.

And so I think the trick is, like, you said so well, you can really get duped into feeling like, oh, I know these people. Like, these are people that I know well.

And because you listen to them talk so much and you get these little insights into who they are, and that's a tricky place to be because obviously you don't. And they may not even be like that, you know?

And so we all live in this really weird world now where you're having to discern these really interesting feelings or connections that aren't real feelings or connections, you know?

Steve Campbell: 00:43:10

Well, and with me, because of what I do, like, coming from not a small town. I'm not like a small town kid.

But people see the reels I put out of me and like, Kane, who's the Knoxville mayor, like, recording with him is kind of surreal. And they see these videos of him and I on a grid, and it's like, dude, how was Kane? And it's like, well, we did it virtually.

It's not like I was in the ring with him, you know, and he was tombstoning me the entire time. And I was like, we're doing it, we're doing it. You know, Glenn. But, like, you have these moments.

And I was laughing because, again, at the time when we're recording this, I was watching Hallmark with my wife, Life. And one of my first guests was Bradley Rose. He's one of the leading peloton coaches and was my first international guest.

And I remember we were chatting on Instagram and I told him how much he meant to me, and he was like, thanks, mate. Or that was more Australia. Yeah, sorry, I missed that one. Sorry.

But he came on and you have these moments where when you're familiar with Riverside, it says, like, Bradley Rose is in the. The waiting room, and you have these moments where you're like, been here before. I've been here before. Before. I've been here before. Let him in.

Hello, Bradley. Top of the morning. I don't know why I just said that to you.

Dave Barnes: 00:44:18

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:44:18

You know, and he signs on and you have your little bit of banter before you record, and then you just, like, get into it in your. Your recording, and you're like, we're doing it, man.

And so my wife and I are watching Hallmark and we turn on one royal holiday, and it's just like Bradley throughout, and I had this, like, weird connection to a Hallmark that I've never had, where I'm on the couch, I'M like, oh, Bradley. Like, after a line, and I'm like, crazy.

Dave Barnes: 00:44:41

That's so. Bradley. That was.

Steve Campbell: 00:44:43

That was a line in a movie. And my wife's like, what are you doing? I was like, I don't know, man. Life's fun.

Like, I would have never imagined 15 years ago that you and I would be connecting, or Kane and I, when I was watching Raw as a kid. And it's just like, sometimes I had to tell you this funny story that my brother's Aussie musician and played at a.

At a speedy fest up in upstate New York. And this was at the time that Brooke Hogan was, like, coming on the scene. Hulk.

Dave Barnes: 00:45:07

Yeah, I forgot about that.

Steve Campbell: 00:45:08

And it was a. It was a short run, and, you know, she was playing on stage as, like, the main headliner. And so I used to travel. I have two older brothers.

I'm a baby. I used to travel with my middle brother all the time. And just so many fun stories, being on the road with him.

And he's like, dude, you want to come, like, be behind the tent with me? And I was like, yeah. Didn't know Hulk Hogan was going to be behind the tent with him. You know, brother, like, in his sleeves, right?

He's freaking big. Bigger, like, than you can ever imagine. And this guy comes in, he's like, Hulkamania heavyset guy, rips his shirt off in front of Hulk.

In his whole back is Hulk Hogan in red and yellow tattoo. Like, could you imagine if that was, like, everyday people having everyday experiences?

Like, when you have a level of fame, like, you expect that, but could you just imagine the everyday guy? Like, you're an IT worker, and somebody runs up and it's like, Thomas, and it's like your picture. Like, the idea of fame in meeting people is.

Is super surreal, because when you get to do it, I think sometimes with myself, like, you expect, like, okay, this episode's gonna take off. It's gonna do really well. Everyone's gonna give me so much feedback. And I had a conversation with the Lord the other day. I was like, man, Lord.

I expected, you know, from that episode certain things to happen. Like, did I do it wrong? And he was like, well, you got to talk to him. And I have to, like, stop and be like. Like, that's true.

Like, you know, I want the thing. Like, if you do a song, like, you want it to take off, but you got to write it.

And for me, like, if I look at my last year and a half of my life and NFL vets and people that I Literally have no right being on camera with, if I think about it.

I also, though, have to be careful that that doesn't become so awesome to me that the mundane becomes super boring, you know, and not that your kids or your wife are boring, but when you are, you know, doing a concert and your endorphins are going nuts and people are singing back to you, or you're making a podcast and you're vibing with a guest and you're like, you really are best friends, and then you get off and you go back to life outside of this office and you got to go meal prep, you got to go clean, you got to go do laundry. It's really easy to fall into, like. Like, I just want to talk to Kane again. Like, you know, like it's a drug. But it is in a way.

And so, like, I don't think people really understand that balancing act of when you create music or you create movies, just not letting the actual blessings that God has given us in our spouses and our kids.

And so I wanted to, in the last few minutes that we have with you, give you space to talk about the Dadville podcast because I think there are a lot of dads out there that are looking for community.

And so while don't you just briefly talk about, you know, why the Dadville Podcast was started, you know, how far into it, and maybe just one of the coolest things you've learned doing this podcast with guests and with John that like, you never assume when you started this journey all these years later, let's pause to hear a word from our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by Ditch the Suits Podcast.

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Dave Barnes: 00:48:35

You know, I'll say this really quickly, though, to your point about. About the real world versus these other worlds we all live in. I think that's the thing. I don't know why we don't talk about that more.

And we do on Dadville.

We actually try to talk about this a lot, but, like, so much of life as a parent is like, really Tough and sort of boring and annoying and frustrating and mind numbing. You know, I feel like this time of the year for Andy and I laugh. Like it's just really hard. Like our kids don't have sports.

And it's not like we're like a huge sports family but. But they're all home right after school and you know, it gets dark at 4:30 and so. And then you know, you're just kind of going.

And everybody's kind of. And it's too like we, we're in a weird. I assume you guys are too. We're in a weird cold snap right now. So it's like 22 degrees outside. So you can't.

You, you know, the kids don't really want to go outside and like run around and so you're just kind of on top of each other all day. And Annie and I'll laugh because we'll find each other. Have snuck out. Like she'll be in a random room like, what are you doing?

She's like, I just have to go. She's like reading a book. And I'm like, why are you reading a book in here?

And she's like, she couldn't do it or she'll be like, where have you been for the last few minutes? Like, sorry, I was checking. You know, it's like you just find like. And nobody wants to talk about that.

Like a lot of life, a lot of it is that it's like boring or it's like annoying now, you know.

Steve Campbell: 00:49:55

Dave, I want to tell you this. Before electricity came out, now you know why everyone died at 48. Oh, they were like, like, it wasn't typhoid. It wasn't typhoid.

It was bubonic plague. It was just. It's dark at 4:00. I'm bored out of my mind.

Dave Barnes: 00:50:07

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:50:08

Call it quits.

Dave Barnes: 00:50:08

It's. It's been a good run. These 42 years have been a good run. I'm a. I'm a great granddad. I feel great. Yeah.

And so anyway, I think, I think one just to acknowledge that I think it's okay. We have to do a better job. I think as humans and his parents, I'll be more specific. And maybe his dads just being okay with like. It's just.

It's weird. It's hard, it's. It's rough. It's a little boring. It's rough, right?

And I think never has life tried to sell us more that like everything is bigger and better. And as John Mark Comer says, Up into the right. You know, we're all moving and we're getting better. We're better fit. And we.

We have never had better relationships with our kids. And my wife and I are in great. It's like, great, man. But, like, that's not real. None of that's real.

Because so much of life is 4:17 on a Tuesday afternoon and the sun is setting and you're like, what are we going to do for the next three hours? You know, that's life. That's.

Steve Campbell: 00:50:54

But even. Even John. John's book that we are reading as a team, the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I've read that book and felt borderline shame.

Dave Barnes: 00:51:02

Oh, yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:51:03

With the way that John writes, who's like, you should just Sabbath with Jesus. And I'm like, I can't turn my brain off. Like, you know, like, I'm trying.

And I think there's so much information out there about how to be the best, how to get better, how to improve. And it's like my phone, like, literally now is like, I think, trying to convince me to get off my phone.

Because every fourth reel is like, stop scrolling. Micro, micro, micro scroll. And I'm like, do what? And then I'm like, like, screw this. Like, let's watch another video.

And then again, it's like, stop scrolling and read books. And like, I think. I think you are, like, you're. You're trying to survive.

Dave Barnes: 00:51:41

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:51:41

And there's a. There's. There is definitely a huge difference between, like, I'm waving my hand, everybody look at me. I'm struggling so hard over here.

And it's like, oh, care. I care. Like, so. You're so strong. Be brave.

And it's like, actually, I just feel like there's a little part of me that, like, I don't know how to always turn on and activate. And there's so many resources out there. And John's telling me to not have my phone on me and sit in silence. And I'm like, I'm trying so hard.

And, like, I just want to love Jesus. Like, at the end of the day, I just.

Dave Barnes: 00:52:10

Well, there's got to be. Like, we. We just have to be okay with that. We have to be okay with what you just said. So. Well, like, this idea that, like, I don't know what to do.

I just don't know what to do in this moment. I have no clue. And I think God's like, great, that's okay. Like, let's talk about it. Let's pray about it.

Just, like, sit and not know what to do for a little while. Like, it's not the end of the world. And so. But anyway, so your point to Dadville, it's been great. You know, we've done it for four years now.

I think we have, like, 190 episodes or something now. And, you know, what you said so. Well, I.

One of the things I enjoy about it the most is that I get to have conversations with people that I would really never intersect with in real life. And that is. And I don't just mean Bruce Hornsby or, you know, Matthew McConaughey or some of these kind of high levels, whatever. It's.

It's, you know, authors that know a lot about kids and whatever. And so I think.

Or specialists on brain, how your brain works, you know, and it's just like, this is so fun to sit and get to hear people that I just wouldn't ever get to do this with, you know, and hear what makes them tick or why they're so good at something. And it's just so many times that I'll hang up from one of the episodes, you know, interviewing somebody, and just think, God, that was really cool.

Like, what a. What a cool thing to have intersected with that human for an hour. And, you know, maybe it'll happen again, maybe don't.

And then it's even more fun when, like, some of those people end up becoming your friends or you keep in touch with them, and that stuff is just.

Steve Campbell: 00:53:38

You make albums with them.

Dave Barnes: 00:53:39

You know, you make albums with them at a. At a jump part. And so, you know, I think that that is something I really love.

And then I think the other thing is, I'm really proud that John and I get to put.

It's not every episode, Lord knows, because some of them are just really funny and ridiculous, but that, you know, every now and then we put stuff out in the world. I'm like, I.

I would actually recommend that episode to Mike because that person had such great thoughts and great answers and that to me, and I know John feels the same way. That's really cool.

That's when I'm like, okay, we're actually potentially, like, doing something here, as opposed to, you know, because some episodes are just really fun and silly and we laugh and whatever, but, you know, you have these moments where, like, oh, my God, that was incredibly poignant. Or, like, I learned something. And John, I've always said, like, our. Our main reason for doing it is exactly what you said.

It's just extremely selfish. It's just the fact that we get to sit and talk to people, and. And we get to learn things, and then people are.

You know, what comes of it is this hysterical byproduct of our selfishness. You know, just kind of like, well, we think that person's cool. And then people listen and go, we thought that was cool. And we're like, oh, good.

But that wasn't really.

Steve Campbell: 00:54:47

Well, and I think when you.

When you podcast, too, you know, like, you had said with Annie and with my wife stuff, Steph, too, it's like, you know, and she engages with an episode. She's, you know, trying to give me feedback. Like, hey, we're talking about being a parent on every episode.

And it's kind of like, if Steph went on tour with me, every concert I did was like, hey, you keep playing the same set list every city you go to. It's like, well, that's kind of the gig. Like, yeah, there's a balance between.

I want to be sensitive to the Holy spirit in this conversation right now and, like, what's on my heart and bringing it to it, because then that's when. Yeah.

Even if I've talked about parenting for five shows in a row, row, I have a random high school buddy that reaches out to me is like, dude, you wrecked me. And I'm like, where? What did I do? And it's like that episode you did on depression.

Dave Barnes: 00:55:25

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:55:25

I was crying, and you're just like, all right. Like, that is literally what this is about, and that's why you want to keep going. And so, you know, even just spending this time with you.

And I think one of the things that I kind of struggle with, too, which is, like, how much do you share? Because when you have. Don't call it God's favor, but, like, when God opens. Blessings to talk to a Dave Barnes.

Like, there are a handful of people that really love your music. Music. And first of all, I wanted to make sure we were actually going to record today.

And what before I was like, hey, guys, I'm going on with Dave Barnes, and it's not your. I'm not doing it because I want them to be like, you are the man. But it's just like, dude, this is really cool, and I want you to enjoy this with me.

And so, like, learning how to. Because I record episodes now weeks in advance. It's like being a Marvel cast member.

Like, I know the people I've had on, and I don't want to tell anybody because, like, if it bombs or they email me later and are like, like, don't post that episode. I don't want to share certain things, but there's this, like, also feeling inside of, like, this is amazing. Like, I got to do this. And I. Yeah.

When I get done, Steph will be like, how did it go? And it's like, well, I want to tell you everything. Sit down. Sit down. And I'll go through word by word what we talked about.

But it's also just like, my kids, when they come home from school, I'm like, it was good, but inside, I'm like, it was amazing.

Dave Barnes: 00:56:37

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:56:38

And it brings life to you.

So just even balancing, you know, my brother was a big Bruce Hornsby fan, but, like, you, you have these people that in your wildest dreams, you would have never imagined. And this is what Stephen on Day and I talked about. If I pass Stephen Day on the streets of Nashville, he might give me two minutes.

You know, I'm not going to be like, dude, what's your one big thing right now? But he spent an hour with me, and we laughed. And, like, that's special to me. It's like a playlist that I'll forever have.

But it's just, like, also balancing the people in my world and those that are champing me and those that love me, like, how much do I share with them? Before, I'm just, like, bragging, but it's more. I'm excited, you know, and, like, you want to share it all with them. And so there is this.

When you podcast, there's people that are really close to you that give you feedback and they want things from you.

But then there's also just this other world of people you're never going to meet that are like, you know, Dave, John, you guys changed my life as a dad. And so I want to encourage everybody, as I told you, we'd record for a half hour, and here we are 55 minutes in. So thank you for standing by. I think.

I think if you are a dad, if you are a parent and you love.

If you love banter, Dadville is a great show to get, you know, and that's what I think I appreciate is I felt a part of the conversation and I laughed with you guys, but then you also bring on these people that really do want to inspire you. I want people to go check out your show. I think it's incredible. I think you're doing great work. So I'm just super blessed.

Blessed and fortunate that I had this time with you for just. I mean, how special you've been to my wife.

And I and the videos that we've watched over the years at Christmas time and, you know, laughed with you and obviously we're going to be out seeing you at a show here soon. But, you know, is there any last for those in case this ever, you know, might be their last stop? They just came to hear you.

Is there anything else that we didn't talk about that you want to leave people with before bringing episode to a close?

Dave Barnes: 00:58:23

I don't think so.

Steve Campbell: 00:58:24

I was gonna say if you say no, it's going to be super awkward. All right. Anyway, well, Dave Barnes, world changer. Been just. Just really great. And, you know, I'll have the show notes.

Yeah, I'll have in the show notes date, you know, information so you can connect with him, follow him on Instagram if you need a good laugh in life. But, partner, this was a lot of fun. Wish you the best on Dadville moving forward and obviously with all the music too.

Dave Barnes: 00:58:46

Great. Yeah. Thanks, man.

Steve Campbell: 00:58:47

You got it, bud.