Everyone's Going Through Something - Jeff Cavanaugh Shares His Personal Solution for Battling Anxiety and ADHD

Steve Campbell: 00:00:02

Welcome to the one big Thing podcast, where inspiration beats transformation.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:12

Welcome to the one big Thing podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:15

Today I have a guest, Jeff Cavanaugh, on with me.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:17

Jeff, I have been a fan of his for the last several years.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:20

He is a radio host from the Dallas area, covers the Dallas Cowboys.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:25

Always been a big fan myself of the Cowboys since I was a little kid.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:28

And I've watched Jeff from afar from the last several years.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:31

But I've heard him say in several different takes that you never know what people are going through.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:36

And so I reached out to him and said, hey, I host this podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:39

I don't know what you've ever gone through in your life, but I'd love to have you on.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:42

So today we take some time to talk about his battle with mental health, especially with anxiety and ADHD.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:47

So whether you've ever gone through something or know somebody that has, this episode is revealing.

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Jeff shares about his struggle with these things, but also how he's implemented some tactics in his life to live the life he wants to live.

Steve Campbell: 00:00:59

So again, I hope this episode of the one big thing inspires you, and thanks for being our guest.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:04

Welcome to the one big thing podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:06

I'm your host, Steve Campbell.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:08

This is going to be an awesome conversation.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:10

Today I got Jeff Cavanaugh on with me.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:13

For those that aren't familiar with the one big thing, this is an interview style show where I have the ability of interviewing people from all walks of life to really figure out what is their one big thing.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:23

For those that are new, I serve as the chief brand officer at my company.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:27

Married, got four kids under eight years old.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:29

So I'm right in the thick of where many 30 and 40 year olds are today, really trying to navigate life, figure out who they are, and grow personally.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:37

So the one big thing with every episode, I promise, is to give you one idea that might change your life.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:42

And we're going to unpack that today with Jeff Cavanaugh.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:45

Jeff, I know you.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:46

I'll go through a little bit of how we got connected.

Steve Campbell: 00:01:47

But for those that may not be familiar with who you are, what are some things they need to know?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:01:53

Oh, that's, see, even the first thing that I'm going to say is a trick because the first thing is, like, I feel like the default is like, hey, here's what I do.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:01

Sure.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:02:02

Here is my job, which, that's cool.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:02:05

Like, since: 2009

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:02:12

And I am, I think more importantly, especially in terms of this podcast would be, I am a mental health advocate and a mental health person.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:02:23

And I'm a mental health person.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:02:24

I'm a 40 year old ADHD kid with anxiety and depression.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:02:28

That's me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:02:29

So welcome, everyone, to my world.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:32

Yeah, if you were a late eighties, nineties kid, that probably resonated with a lot of people that may not, truthfully, Jeff ever hears somebody come out and say that.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:40

So, you know, if you're just tuning into this episode, Jeff shared that, I think we're going to unpack a lot.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:45

For those of you that may not be familiar, DFW is the Dallas Fort Worth area.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:50

I've actually been following Jeff now for the last few years.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:54

I've shared before that my father, growing up as a kid, got me in love with the Dallas Cowboys.

Steve Campbell: 00:02:59

And so I go out to the interwebs and try to find people that can talk about my favorite team.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:04

And Jeff is one of the leading voices that I have had the pleasure of listening to.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:08

So I've heard him say on his show before, you know, things about mental health.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:12

And I thought, hey, man, I don't know if this is your cup of tea, but I'd love to have you on my show to kind of unpack that.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:17

So, Jeff, if I had to ask you, what is your one big thing?

Steve Campbell: 00:03:21

What's one thing you want to share with the audience today?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:25

I suppose my one big thing would probably be, and I don't know where I got my sign off from.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:29

I don't know where it came from.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:31

Like, I mean, it's mine.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:32

I didn't hear it anywhere else.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:33

But it's a version of something that I think you've hear.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:37

You've heard a lot of different ways.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:38

And what I say at the end of every single broadcast is, remember, you have no idea what anyone's going through, so be cool to everyone.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:45

I love you.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:46

Be easy.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:47

And that's, I guess, yeah, that's my big thing, is people being cool to each other, because life can be hard.

Steve Campbell: 00:03:56

Yeah.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:03:57

And to remember that everybody's thinking about you probably way less than you think, and the people who you think are being judgey or whatever.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:04:04

Or whatever.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:04:05

If everybody's just cool to each other, man, how badass would that be?

Steve Campbell: 00:04:10

Well, I think that's what we're ultimately going for.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:12

And I know as somebody that creates a ton of content, normally you want to stick to the script and kind of stay within your lane and give people the deliverable.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:19

Right.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:19

So if individuals are going.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:21

Going out to hear about their favorite football team or sports franchise, and you have somebody that kind of breaks the mold, if you will, and says, hey, don't forget, you never know what somebody's going through.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:31

That stuck out to me as a listener, and I've seen people leave comments in the YouTube videos and things like that because I think a lot of people are struggling out there today.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:40

So I think for you, for somebody who has been in podcasting, you've done radio hosting.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:45

When you make videos, you have thousands of people that tune in and watch you.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:49

You're kind of a voice to many people to give space and credence to, like, hey, this is real.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:54

I've been through things.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:55

You never know what people are going through.

Steve Campbell: 00:04:57

I think we need more of that today, but maybe more of it in a way that isn't just trying to say, hey, let's acknowledge what's going on, but like, to also let you know that you're okay and other people are going through things.

Steve Campbell: 00:05:10

So when you say mental health advocate, where did that come from?

Steve Campbell: 00:05:14

Or how did we get to this point of recognizing, like, hey, guys, we all need to be aware that people are trying.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:05:22

It was probably in terms of becoming an advocate for it, it probably was almost accidentally.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:05:31

I feel like a lot of things have been almost accidentally for me because I began therapy when I was probably 32, 33, because of a combination of the things that I have and then the things that come from your life experiences in the formative years that make certain things challenging for you, blah, blah, blah.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:05:55

All of it leads up to something that had been, like, for me, relationships had always been really, really hard, like actual intimate relationships.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:03

And when something starts to feel that way, I freak out.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:06

And so when I was 32 or 33, I was with somebody and I was just so exhausted of it, of the same thing happening.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:13

It was a repeat cycle of, all right, I like this person.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:17

Oh, sweet.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:17

This person likes me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:18

That's really fun.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:19

Oh, my God.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:19

This feels like something very serious and like, they really care and like, I really care, and something about this is terribly, terribly wrong and uncomfortable and unsafe, and so I just freak out and run away.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:28

And this time I didn't want to freak out and run away, so instead my body freaked out and I had a full blown panic attack.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:34

And that led me to, okay, like, you gotta do something.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:42

This isn't gonna work.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:45

The ADHD kid part of me forgot the question that you asked, but, oh, how did I get to being a mental health advocate?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:06:52

So then I began doing talk therapy, and something between it saved my life.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:02

And it changed my life.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:04

Somewhere in between there, uh, it was, it's been life changing.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:10

I may still do it every other week, but.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:12

So it's not like it's a process that is done.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:14

But I think my experience with being able to learn about myself and the whys of certain things and feel like, oh, my God, there's a way to fight back was really important.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:27

And then, um.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:29

And then you do four or 5 hours of radio a day, and when certain things would come up in the sports world, I think it was a celebrity suicide was the first time where I was just, like, my coworkers knew some of my stuff, and when we were just kicking it around, like, I was like, oh, screw it, I'm just gonna go for it.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:07:51

And just started talking about life and struggles and how much, like, I get it and how I know that there's, like, it's not a rare thing for people to be in really, really, really dark places.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:08:02

And I kind of opened up about myself, and the reaction I got from that was infinitely more important and powerful than anything you'll ever have to say about sports.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:08:11

So, like, to what you said earlier, it is weird.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:08:15

Like, I can't, I'm not going to turn a Dallas Cowboys platform into a mental health platform because you might lose a bunch of people that aren't there for that.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:08:31

Uh, but I do realize that it is way more important, and I don't want to take away from the other part of my job.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:08:39

I mean, people just having an escape and being able to listen to something that they enjoy, that's good for their day, too.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:08:43

And I know that that has its importance, but, I mean, I have, um.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:08:51

In the times that I have been very open and done a long form conversation about mental health and struggles and about how I've felt at times.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:00

Like, I've gotten messages from people after each of those that were literally a saved life that day.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:08

Like, literally, if I didn't hear this today, here's what I was going to do tonight.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:12

But now I don't feel like I'm alone.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:17

And so that's why I think it's important that people do talk about it.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:24

Because when I talk about my things, I've had people reach out to me that I'm stunned.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:28

I'm like, oh, my God, you would never know.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:30

Like, oh, me too.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:31

Like, I go through this and I see my therapist, and I have had really, really dark times.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:37

And it's, you know, it's people that you just think from the outside, oh, that person's wow, what a great life.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:44

They've got it together.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:45

They're really.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:46

That looks super fun and squared away.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:48

You don't know.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:49

You have no idea.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:09:52

And so we're cool to everyone.

Steve Campbell: 00:09:54

Well, I think part of your story and why it hits home.

Steve Campbell: 00:09:58

I had shared on a previous podcast with Carl Binger that my brother went through seven years of clinical depression.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:05

And so if you've never had a family member go through depression, it's not just stinking thinking they don't feel good.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:12

There's a chemical imbalance.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:14

And it was really hard for me watching my older brother, my rock.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:18

I mean, Carl and I were crying together on my podcast.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:20

He had tried to commit suicide several times.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:23

And I had talked about, when you see somebody that's in a state that isn't their normal state and they can't get out of their own way, it's debilitating, because there's nothing that you're going to be able to say to somebody.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:34

And why I want to bring this to light is, you said you're 40 now, but when you were 32, you had this relationship, and you went to therapy.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:42

Jeff, for those that are out there today, that maybe would acknowledge something seems wrong, like, they can't put their finger on it because no one in their circles talks about it.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:52

Everybody looks like they have their life together.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:54

Could be anxiety, could be depression, could be whatever.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:57

Schizophrenia.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:58

I have no idea.

Steve Campbell: 00:10:59

For somebody who's like, man, what you just said resonates with me.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:03

You took the bold action of doing something, getting therapy.

Steve Campbell: 00:11:06

Was therapy your own decision that you discovered?

Steve Campbell: 00:11:09

Did somebody say, jeff, you should go check out therapy?

Steve Campbell: 00:11:13

Or what was that initial, like, bridge to getting help?

Steve Campbell: 00:11:17

What did that look like for you?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:19

It was mine.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:20

Yeah, it was mine.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:21

It was just.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:22

I had had a pattern that had.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:24

That repeated itself over and over and over and over again in my life, reached a point where I just.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:29

I didn't want it to.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:30

And it was just like, if I don't do something, if I don't change something, then why would I expect that anything's ever going to change?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:37

And so, no, I was just.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:39

That was just me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:40

I had a nice panic attack in front of a.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:43

In front of the girlfriend, and then I believe it was the next day, I just started asking around about is, you know, therapy can be weird, too.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:51

Like, you might find that you have somebody that you don't vibe with.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:54

That's whatever.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:55

Right?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:56

But I was very fortunate.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:11:57

The first one that I had was really, really good, and.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:02

And I knew immediately, like, oh, God.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:04

This is going to serve me in a, in a big way.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:07

My early on therapy sessions, I think my guidepost for if it was a good session was, did you cry today?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:14

Because it's like, okay, you found something.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:16

You found something that you need to.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:18

That you need to talk about, you need to work through.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:20

But, yeah, that was.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:21

It was just.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:22

That was just my decision.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:23

I was just.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:23

I was exhausted, I was miserable, I was anxious, I was depressed.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:28

I was all of these different things about where I was and how it just felt like you look around at the world and you don't get to see what's going on inside everybody else's brains and minds.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:41

But what you do see is everybody else got married and they have kids, and that's what you're supposed to do.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:50

That's what normal people do.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:52

Therefore, I'm not normal.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:54

And if I'm not normal, what does that mean?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:55

It means I'm weird, I'm broken, I'm all these different things.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:12:58

And it was just like, okay, well, let's.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:13:02

Let's go find out.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:13:04

And so I got to work.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:06

Let's take a quick break to hear a word from your sponsor.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:09

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Steve Campbell: 00:13:13

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Steve Campbell: 00:13:39

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Steve Campbell: 00:13:46

I appreciate you even bringing that to the surface, too, because I'm a dad, I got four kids, and, you know, a lot of my guests, they have kids things, too.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:53

But I always like uncovering the topics and things that are sensitive, that people don't talk about.

Steve Campbell: 00:13:59

And I've told you with listeners before, infertility is near and dear to my heart because I've known so many couples that have just struggled in silence and to create a space for them to know they're not alone or to somebody, you know, who's in their thirties, that, you know, the expectation and culture, maybe you should be married and having kids.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:16

There are people out there today that are single and they may feel broken and set apart and feel like, you know, family members asking them hopefully well, intentionally, but just asking them, like, hey, when are you going to tie the knot?

Steve Campbell: 00:14:29

When are you going to meet somebody?

Steve Campbell: 00:14:30

So for you to even bring that up in a podcast today, given the platform that you have, I think is kudos to you, because it might help one more person at a time.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:40

And to what you said a few minutes ago, I don't ever want to under value or estimate what in the world you just said, which is that you have people that may be using the Dallas Cowboys or the Rangers or Dallas Stars as an outlet, maybe even in an unhealthy way.

Steve Campbell: 00:14:56

You know, they're putting so much hope in a franchise or a team to fill a void in their life.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:01

And so they come to receive content from somebody.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:04

They want to know how practice went today.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:06

They want to know about an interview that you did with somebody.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:09

But in there, they.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:10

They coming into that, you know, they're looking for hope.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:13

They're looking for a spark, and probably never thought they'd discover it with Jeff Cavanaugh.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:17

But in that moment, you said something because it's.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:20

It's who you are.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:21

Like, you just said it.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:22

It wasn't like, I'm going to say this because I'm going to save somebody.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:25

It's just this is a part of my DNA now because I've gone through some really hard things.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:30

Therefore, hey, folks, you never know what people are going through.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:33

If it was only one person in your entire career that reached out to you and said, jeff, you saved my life, dude.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:38

You have done far more than anything you've ever done in media.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:43

But to have multiple people, and I feel like that, that's why I started this show.

Steve Campbell: 00:15:48

Because for those that may not know, I felt overwhelmed having kids and helping run businesses and being married and am I meeting my wife's needs?

Steve Campbell: 00:15:56

And, like, all of this doubts that I had about, like, I don't even know if I'm a good man or if what I'm doing.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:01

And I didn't know where those thoughts came from.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:03

And what I realized is that man, if I, who on paper seems like he has a lot of good things, can have these self doubts or have these negative things going on, how many other people are probably struggling with this?

Steve Campbell: 00:16:15

So I created the one big thing to bring a voice to a space that many people don't ever get to hear about, whether it's mental health or physical fitness or relationships.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:25

Let's talk about hard things, but then let's just not bring it to the surface and say, this is hard.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:30

Let's give people a couple actionable steps that if they're in a position right now where they didn't even.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:35

Jeff, they came onto this podcast because they know you.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:38

They follow you.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:39

They wanted to hear about your career, and now you're talking about something completely out of left field.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:44

I got to imagine there's somebody in their car listening to this right now is like, wow, okay, I'm not alone.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:50

So in your journey, and I guess this is a great question for me.

Steve Campbell: 00:16:54

At 32, you are still doing radio at that point?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:16:59

32?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:00

Because 32.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:01

I'm 40.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:01

32 would have been eight years ago, and so that is 16.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:05

So, yeah, I would have been at.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:07

I would have been at the fan.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:08

Yeah, yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:09

So, so you were doing, you know, real time radio and having to put on not a Persona, but, like, you have to be a radio personality.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:16

And inwardly, in your own world, you had this anxiety about relationships.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:21

So, like, even.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:22

Even.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:22

Let's expose that for people today, you know, that are not putting on a mask, but they're trying to show up because they're being paid to do a job.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:30

And yet in their own inner world, something isn't.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:34

Was it just that when you were on the radio, it was able to, like, cover up what was actually happening, and when you got done, there was like this, an emotional lull that kicked back in, or what is that balance been like being a mental health advocate, going through things, but then also being in the forefront for most people as a content creator, there's not a lot of space to hide.

Steve Campbell: 00:17:54

So, like, how have you balanced those two things?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:58

You're really good at this, by the way.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:17:59

You have really insightful thoughts at all times.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:04

No matter what I say, you're really good at this.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:06

Thank you.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:07

The answer to that is a two parter, I think.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:11

I would say at the beginning of radio, like, there is an element of showmanship, I guess, or Persona when you're broadcasting.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:22

And I would say that now, for me, it's just making sure that you're cognizant of, like, an energy level because there does need to be a certain energy so that people aren't kind of bored.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:31

But I would say in: 2016

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:36

I started radio in: 2009

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:18:53

A desperate attempt for some sort of approval or affirmation from people that I like you.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:06

And I would say the last few years, I don't know that anyone's ever totally clear of that.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:16

I don't know.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:16

Everybody's different, but I want people to like me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:19

But I think I've now reached a point where I'm more comfortable with everything that is me, and that's cool.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:27

And if you don't, it's like, oh, that's fine.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:28

Then I'm not for you.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:29

That's fine.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:31

And so now I'm trying to remember exactly where I was going with the question.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:36

So now what it is with work is like, I don't have to fake an engagement or an energy level because of what is going on inside me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:44

The things that go on inside me that are challenging on a daily basis tend to exist in quiet moments.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:51

So when I am at work and when I'm occupied is when I'm actually at my best.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:19:56

When I have the structure of something to do and people to engage with and connect with is when.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:02

Life is the easiest.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:03

Life is the hardest.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:05

Once everything slows down and you get home and there's nothing on the agenda and there's no plan to do anything, and you look at the wall and you go, now what?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:12

Now it's intrusive thought time.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:15

So, yeah, once upon a time, my whole life was a search for acceptance or to be likable or something along those lines.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:28

And now it's still like, I think now my work time, my any appointments that I have, things that I have to do that day, those things kind of serve me because I still prefer to have an occupied brain.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:45

And that's still a challenge eight years later, at the age of 40, to realize that you got to let yourself slow down.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:52

You gotta let whatever thoughts come.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:54

You gotta process the world.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:57

But life's a lot easier when you don't.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:20:59

And when it's just like, I'm gonna go to work and that will occupy me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:21:02

And then I'm gonna come home and I'll grab a book which will occupy me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:21:04

Maybe I'll listen to an audiobook on the way in or music on the way home and stay occupied all the time.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:21:11

So again, I forgot the question, but I think I probably answered it.

Steve Campbell: 00:21:14

You're doing great.

Steve Campbell: 00:21:15

Here's what I would say.

Steve Campbell: 00:21:16

I think there are people, though, that probably watch you from afar and have jealousness because of the people you get to interview and who you do life with and being at cowboys camp, and maybe they're in a season where they don't like their job or they feel stuck or feel like they're not doing anything great or exceptional.

Steve Campbell: 00:21:36

And so they watch you, and it's like, man, if only I could be Jefferday.

Steve Campbell: 00:21:40

But, yeah, I think what's cool about this platform is you just said, and this was something that came out of other episodes that I've done with influential people, musicians, stuff like that.

Steve Campbell: 00:21:51

I mean, when I started the show, obviously I had the idea of having, you know, people from all walks of life, you get some big name people.

Steve Campbell: 00:21:56

You get somebody who's like, hey, do you want to interview so and so?

Steve Campbell: 00:21:59

And you're like, holy crap.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:00

I mean, yeah, be cool.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:02

And then you get these interviews scheduled.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:05

And the way that this platform works is there's, you know, it lets you know so and so is in the waiting room ready to come in, and I have to take a deep breath sometimes and be like, be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:17

Like, don't freak out.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:18

Don't be a fanboy.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:18

And be like, hey, man, great to see you again.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:20

And it's like, I have this not doubt, but just this feeling of, like, am I even good at this?

Steve Campbell: 00:22:25

Like, can I do this?

Steve Campbell: 00:22:27

And then what you find is there's this beautiful, beautiful thing that happens in every episode, where it's almost like I feel more connected to each guest because they share things that many people don't get to hear or know about.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:40

And I think what you just said and why I want to capture it is I had one of my favorite musicians, Stephen day.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:46

He's out of Nashville, Tennessee.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:48

Love his music.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:49

If you've never heard it, go check it out.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:50

Love this guy.

Steve Campbell: 00:22:51

Had him on the show, 110, $120 million Spotify downloads, and he had talked about how when he's on stage, he feels so alive.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:00

And when he puts his guitar down and goes back to his bus or his trailer and it's by himself, he has this huge dip where he feels like, what am I doing with my life?

Steve Campbell: 00:23:09

And to just hear his records, you would never know that.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:12

And I think when I hear somebody like you say, who does really cool things, in my mind, I'm like, dude, I'd love to be doing what you're doing to hear that.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:20

When you get by yourself, when the camera's not on, you just have these thoughts that I think every, every person has.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:26

And that's the whole point of it, folks.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:28

Whether you have adhd, depression, nothing, just thoughts that come to you.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:33

You're not broken.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:34

It's just, what do you do with those things?

Steve Campbell: 00:23:36

And I think there's a difference between you did have a bad day.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:40

Something didn't go right.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:41

You got a bad email, and, like, something is seriously wrong.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:45

And so I just.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:47

What breaks my heart is when I see the dad who's got kids twitch.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:53

A couple years ago, dude rocked my wife and I guy is on Dancing with the Stars.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:57

He's doing all these shows.

Steve Campbell: 00:23:59

He's making videos during COVID and the next thing you know, he took his life.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:03

And it's like, what happened?

Steve Campbell: 00:24:05

And so my hope is that, you know, for those that are listening to this episode today, if all this did was raise your awareness that you're not alone, because it's so easy to feel absolutely alone in your thirties and forties, like, you should have this all figured out.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:21

You should know what you're doing.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:23

But I think when you get really honest with people, there's a huge difference between, I'm going to pour my heart out on social media every day because I want people to be like, oh, my gosh, Steve, what's wrong?

Steve Campbell: 00:24:33

That it becomes.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:35

You can drown people out.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:37

There's a very real difference between, like, I've never opened myself up and told my spouse or my friends or my coworkers that I feel broken.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:45

Like, I'm afraid to do that.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:47

But what you said 20 minutes ago is it's been beautiful in a way, I think, because you haven't always led with, hey, I'm Jeff.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:56

I have ADHD, and I've had anxiety.

Steve Campbell: 00:24:58

Like, our society wants us to, like, tell us what's wrong right at the beginning so we can cope with that or, like, make sure we're not offending you when it's like, no, jeff, you're a good dude.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:07

Like, I love what you do.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:09

If you're a little bit broken, the beautiful thing is broken pieces let more light in.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:13

And that's my big thing.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:14

I tell people all the time, just because you're going through hard things, things are beyond your control.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:19

You didn't ask for it, but you can do something about it.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:21

And that's in this last ten minutes here.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:23

What I'd love to talk with you about.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:25

You're one big thing.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:26

You never know what people are going through, so love them where they're at.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:29

You've taken steps towards therapy.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:31

Is there anything else that maybe you think?

Steve Campbell: 00:25:33

One or two ideas that we might be able to leave with somebody who might acknowledge, whether it's themselves or a loved one, is going through something?

Steve Campbell: 00:25:42

Therapy was one thing you talked about.

Steve Campbell: 00:25:44

Has there been anything else that has helped you in your road to just kind of discovering who you are and how you're wired.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:25:51

Uh, the first thing that jumps into my head, I was thinking I should probably skip because it's illegal, but, um, micro dosing is a great antidepressant for me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:01

Uh, but anyway, moving on to something else.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:03

Uh, yeah.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:05

Like, there are.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:06

There are other things that I think you learn about, um, you know, when you're trying to figure out how to live with whatever it is.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:17

Right.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:17

I've had times of self worth issues, intrusive thoughts down the line.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:23

Like, I've found other things that I know are helpful to me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:27

And so I guess I would lead with two things.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:30

Like, journaling is amazing for me, and there's multiple ways to do it.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:36

I probably have seven journals in my house right now.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:38

Like, I got a Harry Potter one.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:39

I got a lord of the Rings one.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:40

You got to embrace your nerd.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:41

You got to be who you are.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:42

You got to crack open the Marauders map journal and go to town.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:46

But I also got one off of Amazon, I think it's called, like, the vibes journal, where it's, like, each section you journal every morning or night, and it kind of gives you prompts.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:26:56

Like, I'm currently at the end of a seven day section that's kind of the affirmations section.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:00

So, like, the left side page is some sort of prompts or some sort of almost lesson of the day where you answer some stuff, and then on the right side to sort of, all right, here's your gratitudes, here's your, uh, just your mindfulness, or get the crap out of your head that happened today, and here's your kind of refocus, and is there something you hope you do better tomorrow?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:23

And all those things.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:25

And I know that journaling is super useful to me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:30

Like, if I want to go from feeling like there's 12,000 things in my brain and whatever the most negative thing I could possibly think is just kind of swirling, even though I don't take the time to just look at it and be like, oh, that's what's happening right now.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:43

Because if I did do that, then I could probably get it out and dismiss it, but instead, I just let it run in the background constantly.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:49

And so, like, journaling, for me, is a way where you're forcing yourself to slow down and be like, oh, wait, there is a million things going on.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:56

What are you cool?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:27:59

I'm going to write you down.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:00

And once I write you down, you're no longer here, because I put you here.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:05

Like, I acknowledged you and I gave voice or words to you and now you kind of leave me alone for a little bit.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:12

And that's great.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:15

Walking, going outside.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:16

My God, outside is so good.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:20

Any sort of exercise that you can do is so good for my brain and.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:27

But I also want to kind of leave it with because I do this a lot and there's, there's some sort of balance here, I guess, that I know those things work for me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:37

And right now I'm on probably a seven straight day run of journaling each night before bed.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:46

Normally, I might remember to do it once every two weeks.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:50

I might forget for a month and then I might do it for a couple of days.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:28:53

So it's like, I know these things that can help and yet I constantly don't do them.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:00

And in moments like that, I have an affirmation that is on my bathroom mirror and I'm probably not going to hit it verbatim, but it's one of the ones where I just looked up a list of affirmations and, like, which ones speak to me because I think affirmations are great, too.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:15

Say them in front of the mirror.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:17

Say them, not look at them and read them.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:20

Say it out loud to yourself because at first it's going to be awkward and then eventually it'll mean something.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:26

And the one, it's something along the lines of I give myself the same love and energy that I give to others because I think a lot of people with depression, it's very easy.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:39

Like, you're very kind to your friends, you're very caring to your friends.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:43

You would never interpret anything in the most negative light you could about a friend.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:50

You would be there and you would love and support.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:53

But me and a lot of people, I feel like that's not the way we talk to ourselves.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:29:58

We're way more critical of us and you wouldn't do that to someone else.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:02

And so that's a current focus of mine.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:04

It's like, remember that.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:05

Make it a mantra.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:07

And so it's like, I want to share the things that are helpful to me, but I also want to share, try really hard to not judge yourself or be down on yourself because you didn't do them that day, you know?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:21

So, like the balance between, look, I know these things are good for me.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:25

I want to share these ideas with people.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:26

Go do them.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:27

They're great.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:28

And I bet it'll help you, too.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:29

And also, please be cool to yourself if you don't for a few days, if you forget, if you're in a fun because I have days where the grocery store is 400 yards from my front door.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:38

I'll go a week and a half without groceries because it just feels like such a task to go.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:43

It's 400 yards.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:45

So, you know, if you.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:47

You know, if you get in a place where accomplishing things is really, really, really hard and just feels like a lot, even though in your brain, and then you'll be mean to yourself because you're like, it's not a lot.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:57

It is not hard to get to that grocery store.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:30:59

So now I'm going to be mean to me because you feel like it's a lot, but it's not a lot, which means you're being a pee, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:31:03

Be cool to yourself, please.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:31:05

I'm trying to.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:31:06

And I hope that everybody can be so I like to.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:31:09

Journal meditation is great.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:31:11

I have the call map meditations.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:31:15

Yeah, those are things, dude.

Steve Campbell: 00:31:17

It's great.

Steve Campbell: 00:31:18

And I had a previous guest who talked about acknowledging, like, what are the two or three things that I have to do every day to make it feel like this was a good day and it could be simple things, making the bed or doing something, but it's just like, these are my founding truths.

Steve Campbell: 00:31:32

And I've been a huge advocate for journaling because I think what many of us do is we struggle with something that we don't know how to figure out, and then we run to somebody else to explain something that we've never truthfully actually, like, dissected ourselves.

Steve Campbell: 00:31:48

And you have well meaning people that hear what you're telling them and they want to start giving you advice.

Steve Campbell: 00:31:53

I think what journaling forces you to do, even if it's a sentence, is write the good, write the bad, write the.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:00

What in the world is going on?

Steve Campbell: 00:32:01

Because it is amazing.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:03

When you look back a year ago, five years ago, something I wrote that seemed like the worst possible thing I could have been going through at that time in my life.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:11

I now look back, read my own words, and I laugh, and I'm like, oh, dude, you got this.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:15

Like, journaling is an exercise that if it doesn't have to be a book, it doesn't have to be a paragraph, it could just be simple thoughts.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:22

There's some apps you can download that can help you with journaling.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:25

I've always been a huge advocate of it because it forces me that even before my wife, before I take something to her, I need to first think about, where did these thoughts come from and what am I thinking about?

Steve Campbell: 00:32:36

Get it on paper.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:37

Because then, like you said, you got, you can do journaling, you could do walking.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:41

I think one of my things that I've also had to learn is, like, who is a safe person?

Steve Campbell: 00:32:45

Who is a safe space?

Steve Campbell: 00:32:47

So, like, once you've acknowledged for yourself, like, I feel broken, I feel lost, or I'm on top of the world today.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:52

Just met Jerry Jones.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:53

You're Jerry Jones.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:54

Dude, I gotta have you do a Jerry Jones impersonation at some point.

Steve Campbell: 00:32:58

I think that wherever you are in that barometer, writing your getting it out of your brain and on a paper is huge because then find the people in your life that you can be honest with because there are, you have a lot of contacts, you have a lot of friends, you have acquaintances, but there's probably a handful of people that will not judge you no matter what and can actually sharpen you.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:21

And so maybe the problem is I want to give a little bit of hope to somebody.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:25

If you've ever gone out to seek therapy and it didn't work out, don't stop.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:29

Go find the right therapist.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:30

Till your spider sense goes off and says, this is the one.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:33

Don't give up just because it didn't work the first time.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:35

Same thing.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:36

If you had taken a step of courage to share what in the world was going on, but you shared it in a group setting or with the wrong people and they didn't understand.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:45

Don't forget that we're all meant to do life together in community, but there are certain people that it better to share information with.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:52

And I think finding those key people in your life do it.

Steve Campbell: 00:33:55

The interpersonal, do the journaling, do something to get out of your physical environment, like walking.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:00

Remove yourself from the space you're in, but then find people in your network or in your life.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:05

Doesn't have to be family.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:06

It could be whoever where you can call and you know you're going to be able to text Jeff or FaceTime and be like, dude, I'm lost today.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:13

And they're not trying to change you, they're not trying to do whatever, but they're there just to listen and kind of help you through it.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:19

So I think, you know, Jeff, you even coming on today, me knowing you from afar, but now getting a chance, I feel even more kind of connected with you today.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:29

If somebody does want to follow some of the stuff that you're doing, anything you want to share here about where they can find you, what content you have, because I'll also make sure I put it in the show notes too, as well.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:34:40

Yes.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:34:41

So like, my social medias are at time for Jeffrey J e f f r e y on what is that?

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:34:47

X twitter x x twitter.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:34:49

Tweet z.

Steve Campbell: 00:34:49

It changes all the time.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:34:51

And Instagram and then just my name on Facebook.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:34:53

I have a page on Facebook, Jeff Cavanaugh and work.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:34:57

Currently, I have a YouTube channel, Jeff Cavanaugh, and I am now doing a cowboy show four days a week in a pre and postgame show for a company called All City, which is so our website for ours is all dlls.com or on YouTube at DLLS sports.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:35:16

And what they do is they come to a city and they have an hour long show each day for every pro sports team in that city.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:35:22

So it's a lot of people that probably, if you're a DFW sports fan, you know, the people that are covering all of the teams on those shows, and it's brand, brand new and it's a lot of fun.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:35:31

And so, yes, check out, check out the dlls stuff.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:35:36

Check out YouTube, check out social media and all the things.

Steve Campbell: 00:35:40

Yeah.

Steve Campbell: 00:35:40

Well, I will tell you, you and I got connected because I was bold enough to send you a message and just told you how much I appreciated you.

Steve Campbell: 00:35:46

And it sounds like you've responded to other people that have reached out.

Steve Campbell: 00:35:49

So as the host of the one big thing, I want to thank you, partner, for coming on and being honest, you know, that you're, I think, still figuring it out like all of us are.

Steve Campbell: 00:35:57

But just because you don't have life figured out, you know, how can we learn to turn the obstacles in our path to the actual way forward?

Steve Campbell: 00:36:04

And I think that's my thing is even if you've never gone through anxiety or depression, maybe, you know, somebody that has share this, you know, episode with them might be able to help follow along with us.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:15

And as always, as the host of the show, if there are topics you would love to hear about or people you'd love to hear from, message me, shoot me a note.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:23

I'll put in the show notes, how to get in contact.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:25

I want to bring to you guys topics and people that you want to hear from that can remove the like, hey, we all got this figured out in whatever aspect of your life that you need help with.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:36

So, Jeff Cavanaugh, thank you for being my guest on the one big thing.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:39

And until next time, let's move the ball forward together.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:42

That was a powerful episode.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:44

As I said, I've watched Jeff for a long time.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:46

You never know what people go through.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:47

You don't know their story.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:49

So if Jeff's battle with anxiety.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:51

ADHD really resonated with you.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:54

Don't be a stranger, ask for help again, I appreciate him coming on and being so open and vulnerable.

Steve Campbell: 00:36:59

We all deal with things.

Steve Campbell: 00:37:00

Mental health is very real, so hopefully this episode gave you a sense of knowing you're not alone if you've ever gone through anything challenging, but also to know that it's okay to reach out for help.

Steve Campbell: 00:37:10

As always, I appreciate you being a guest on the one big thing.

Steve Campbell: 00:37:13

If there are topics or speakers you want to hear from, get in contact with me.

Steve Campbell: 00:37:17

Thank you for joining me in this journey, and until next time, appreciate you stopping.

Jeff Cavanaugh: 00:37:21

Bye.